Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Greatest News Story Ever?

Here's mine. Use the comments section to post your own nominations.

The Formosan macaque, a monkey protected under Taiwan law, has become a pest to farmers living near the mountains.

The monkeys are protected because they are unique to the island, but their increasing numbers have made them the dominate primate in the mountainous regions. They act in groups, and according to farmers in these areas, have become more and more bold and aggressive.

In Taitung County, located at the eastern end of Taiwan's Central Mountains, an owner of a chicken farm complained that the monkeys often harass his chickens. And he said they aren't doing it for food, but instead are just playing monkey games such as plucking the feathers of roosters and placing hens on branches high up in the trees.

A goat ranch owner in Fuyuan, Taitung County, said that a Formosan macaque arrived at his ranch this year and soon started harassing his goats, even sexually attacking the female ones.

He said he bought six dogs to keep the monkey away from his goats, but the monkey tamed the dogs within ten minutes. At first, the monkey stood out of the reach of the dogs which were kept on leads, and then slapped them in the face when they became tired of barking at him. Frightened by the monkey, the dogs became timid in its presence.


Another farmer who raises boars in Tama, Taitung County, said wild monkeys often tease his boars by riding on their backs like a man on a horse.

Ha ha. Those crazy monkeys. Whatever will they get up to next?

Merry xmas, motherfuckers.

3 Mewling Pricks

At 4:11 pm, Anonymous Anonymous ejaculated...

My friend Gorilla Bananas, at 'The Japing Ape', would like this story a lot. I don't have my own nomination--except perhaps for the news that Bush accepted the intelligence on Iraq was faulty. That hever happens, with these guys, so I guess it's sort of unique.

Merry Xmas, y'all.


At 8:35 pm, Blogger Sylow_P ejaculated...

Bush's statements aren't that unique. It's part of that never ending struggle to make people connect with him. Note that he accepted responsibility because of his position, but he did NOT admit that he personally made any mistakes. In fact, he's blaming everyone else under the guise of stepping up to the plate.

This makes people piss themselves and say "ah, he's just a normal guy who trusted the wrong report, which was probably written by some moron desk jockey."

I ain't buying it.

Apologies for getting off topic.

Those monkeys give me hope that a truly intelligent race might still evolve from this planet.

At 4:41 pm, Anonymous Foghorn Leghorn ejaculated...

I think this is pretty shocking stuff, Snotty. Do you really think it's funny to glamourise such a dangerous act as placing hens up in the high branches of trees? I say, I say, I say c'mon now! Someone's gonna get hurt!


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