Lord, Lay Hands On My Gay
A short while ago I received the following letter to the Department offices and was most upset to hear the kinds of internal strife that people devoid of the singularity of hatred experience. The contents of the letter are rather disturbing, so please, read with discretion. And pity the weak for they are fucking morons.
Dear Mr. McShott
I've been putting this off for a long time so I'm finally writing you a letter. I’m the founder and chairman of Focus on the Family, a licensed psychologist in the state of California, a licensed marriage, family and child counselor in both California and Colorado and author of books such as "Bringing Up Boys". I also sponsor one day events that aim to cure homosexuality through the help of Jesus Christ Our Lord.
Getting to the point, I don't know if I have a serious problem or a passing (I don't know the word for it). All through my life I have acted and look much more like a girl than a boy. When I was little, I would always wear finger nail polish, dresses, and the sort. I also had an older cousin who would take us into his room and show us his genitals. I'm afraid I have a little sodomy in me. It was very hard for me to write what I just did. I don't want to be homosexual but I'm afraid, very afraid. That was hard to write too. Let me explain further.
Through my higher grades in school (I now have a Phd) kids always called me names (gay, fag etc.), and made fun of me. It was hard. I masturbated (I guess) but went too far. When I was little (not that little) I tried to more than once to suck my own penis (to be frank). That sounds very bad and looks even worse to read it. I pray that nothing is wrong with me.
Very recently I have done such acts as looking (maybe lusting, I pray so hard that I wasn't) at myself in skimpy underwear. Whenever I wear it I feel a like sexual sensation. Yesterday in the bathroom (in front of the mirror), I wiggled my body very rapidly, making my genitals bounce up and down. I get a little bit of that feeling mentioned above as I write this. After I did this, I immediately asked forgiveness of God, went in the shower but did it again there. I prayed more and felt very bad. I talked with one of my pastors and told him at that point I probably preferred a man's body over a woman's. Now that was hard to say! He said he didn't think anything was wrong with me (I don't know how else to say it. He apparently thought it was passing), but I feel very badly and want to know why.
Please help me.
Dr. James C. Dobson Phd