Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The Very Elitist In Fashion

In a typically erudite and skilfully typed analysis of the Harriet Miers fiasco, our good buddy Scott "Slant Point" Sala of conjures up once more the foul spectre of "the elite towers of the Northeast Ivy League universities" and, for a fleeting moment, teeters on the brink of an amazing breakthrough:

"George Bush was Ivy League..."

I swear, when I read this I thought I was about to witness something truly remarkable. I was practically fucking cheering him on, all the way over on this side of the pond. Come on man, I said, you can do it! Connect them dots! The Elite is to Ivy League is to George Bush is to ... oh, bring it on home, Slanty! Say it!

Alas, I guess that's when the GOP-Chip kicked in, performing a partial birth abortion on the hapless Scotty's nascent epiphany:

“...and in many ways Bush despises the Ivy League”

Goddamn. So close, so very close.

What is this fucking arsewind about "The Elite" all about anyway? It's all over the place - particularly these days, what with all this Miers business – even the smug, tedious pisswhips over at NRO's Corner of Inconsequence are feeling the heat of the Elitism jibe for having the nerve to complain about her nomination to the Supreme Court of the US of motherfucking A, on the outrageous and unreasonable grounds that she is NOT EVEN A FUCKING JUDGE. Gosh, how very elitist of them to expect such a thing! True, non-elite conservatives – like Scotty, for example, and the more high profile shills spotted here – don’t require such high-falutin' qualifications of their justices, and have a million mind- and Bush-blowing arguments for why not, too.

But what the fuck? What the hell kind of definition of "elite" are we using here? Are you "elite" if you expect that those appointed to be judges in the highest court in the land might, y'know, have done a little judging here and there beforehand? Are you "elite" if you eat brie, or speak French? Christ, does this dread word "Elite" that so vexes these cats mean, simply, "smart people"?

Or perhaps – and I know it's a long shot, but bear with me - a person might be considered just a wee bit "elite" if he happens to be a Connecticut-born, Ivy League educated member of a immensely rich and powerful political dynasty, currently sitting at the controls of the entire fucking free world?

Nah. That's crazy - listen to his goofy accent, he cain't be no elitist. Yeah, it’s gotta be the cheese. That Ward Churchill, man, he’s so damn elite. I bet he’s putting Roquefort on a fucking cracker as we speak.