Thursday, October 06, 2005

On the Treasure of Our Tongue



Snotty: You know what phrase I really hate? "All that jazz". Fucking shit thing to say.

Hugs: Yeah, and jazz implies saxophones, which are really gay. I hate saxophones. I think the one I hate most though is "at the end of the day".

Snotty: Aw yeah, sure. "At the end of the day" is a stone cold classic. But it seems like a some kind of almost unconscious affectation to me, or at least it's seen as no more than a handy stock phrase. What makes "all that jazz" worse is that the perps appear to know only too well that they are saying it, and what's more they think it's fucking charming and witty. People who say "all that jazz" are the novelty tie wearers of the verbal world. And possibly the actual world, too. They're the sort of people who do that faux-sarcastic thing where if you say you spent the whole day at work reading some deathly boring bullshit they'll chuckle and say "oh, fantastic" in an ironic tone of voice even though it is quite clear that they fucking GENUINELY DO THINK that it is fucking fantastic. Fuck those people in the ear. They are nerds. They are pissheaps, hosers, cocklumps and assclamps.

Hugs: And all that jazz.

8 Mewling Pricks

At 10:00 am, Blogger littlemissprincess_86 ejaculated...

"At the end of the day" gets my vote, if only because it's been taken up by anyone under 30 since the latest UK series of Big Brother.

"Blogosphere" has me reaching for my pistol too. It's nerdy-lite, tends to be used by people of a certain age and political disability (hello Melanie, hello David), meaningless as it suggests that bloggasts are one undifferentiated mass...

 
At 2:59 pm, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

Agreed and agreed. The word "blog" itself is such a fucking ugly mouthful in the first place, though, which kind of shits all over the chances of any other word that has to make use of it.

Which makes me wonder what the hell you're thinking with "bloggasts", man. Reckon I'm gonna have to fire off a warning shot about that one.

 
At 9:44 pm, Blogger lucretius ejaculated...

Don't you think that the word "blog," in its own logorrheic, pedantic, and self-important kind of way is the perfect onomatopoesis of bloggery. It has all the cacolalic audacity of the worst four-letter words and its self-application to unreflective ramblings and pusillanimous bravura seems to make it a delightfully euphemistic perjorative.

How about "bloggard?"

 
At 12:42 am, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

Aw man, you were doing alright up until you spelled "pejorative" wrong.

Yeah, "bloggard" is much better, much like getting stabbed in the calves is preferable to being raped in the eyesockets.

 
At 1:18 am, Blogger lucretius ejaculated...

Ahhh, the etymological confusion is now made clear. Obviously, "pejorative" comes from "peior" meaning "worse" ("pessimus" equaling "worst") rather than "periurare" meaning "to break an oath."

I've come to be all too comfortable with Bill Gates looking over my orthographic shoulder. The Druids would certainly take this to be proof of their theory that technology only makes us less intelligent.

 
At 3:35 pm, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

Jaysus, Luc, you really know how to class up the joint. You almost make me ashamed to be posting mostly penis jokes and petty rants.

Almost.

 
At 6:09 pm, Blogger littlemissprincess_86 ejaculated...

If I might defend my use of "bloggast", not only is it reminiscent of the blogger's cousin the pederast, but I remember reading of an American small-town newspaper (real or fictional I can't recall), like The Akronite or The Angeleno, but ending in -ast. I've kind of liked that suffix ever since and I'm going to add it to as many words as I can, see if I don't!

 
At 9:06 am, Blogger Hugs O'Toole ejaculated...

Hey hey, calm down guy. No need to be such a cockast about it.

 

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