Thursday, August 04, 2005

In Which I Ruin Free Speech For Everyone

So it turns out that my good buddy Scott Sala, shitheel-in-chief of Slant Point, whose life and work I so tenderly summarised earlier, has installed a comment screener following a spirited back'n'forth involving yours truly and one of his less evolved visitors. Apparently he hasn't seen the funny side of any of the comments I have submitted for his approval since, for which I can only blame myself.



It's a doggone shame. I really thought I was in with a shot at the top spot in Scott's hilarious caption contest this week. It's a picture of Al Gore just standing there! How could that not be funny, huh? It's just a case of sitting back and waiting for the "I invented the internet" jokes to roll in. Anyway, I'm sure the winner will be a solid gold comedy classic and, as I'm sure you'll agree, the competition over there is pretty tough.



The one thought that claws at my conscience the most in this time of darkness is that I must surely have caused great offence to Scott for him to have taken this drastic step, for in the past he has shown himself to be quite lenient on some his rowdier contributors. Consider the commenters on this post, who received naught but a gentle admonishment from our boy, akin to a maternal finger-wagging or a light rapping of the knuckles:

Posted by: Anonymous on February 17, 2004 06:08 PM
QUEERS THATS RIGHT QUEERS!!!!!
YOU AIN'T NORMAL AND YOU DON'T DESERVE THE TITLE AS A MARRIED COUPLE. IT'S MORALLY WRONG.
HOPEFULLY PRES. BUSH WILL PUT A STOP ALL THIS CRAP.
THANK YOU!!

No no, thank you. A couple of old school classics come up next:

Posted by: Anonymous on February 18, 2004 07:36 PM
the only good queer is a dead queer

Posted by: Anonymous on February 18, 2004 07:37 PM
God made adam and eve not adam and steve

Adam and Steve! I must remember that one next time some o' them crazy gayfolk force me to take a husband. Next up:

This is disgusting that we even talk about it.
The want to marry, no problem there is a place for it.
The place we call Mental Institution.
And as per they were born this way. Well if your dog has rabies
You shoot it before it bites you. :)

I was nearly disturbed by the violent tone of that last fellow's intolerance until I saw that happy smiley face at the end there. Thank heavens.



Well, I guess I'll have to put the whole experience down to the difference between, on one hand, disagreeing with someone's ideas outright, and simply objecting to the manner in those ideas are expressed, on the other. If only I had've done some more queerbashing, then maybe we'd still be friends.

Anyway, the point of all this is that the Department is shutting up shop for a week and a half, while the staff take off to go camping in Scandinavian terrain. Browse the archives, foul the place up with abusive comments, or just fuck off. Oh, and I'm taking the fucking drinks cabinet with me you fucking little pukes, so don't even think about it.

Cheerio,

Snotty.

UPDATE: Thanks to penis_waffle, in the comments, for this...


6 Mewling Pricks

At 6:11 pm, Anonymous penis_waffle@usa.biz ejaculated...

God, I really hope he doesn't filter my comments. 'Cause if you only look one way when you cross the street you're going to become a puddle of carrion before you get to the other side. Either that, or he may get lucky, survive, and get to sleep with his bony dream girl. Some people just don't have a sense of humor.

I can't wait to see who wins the Al Gore caption contest. There are some really thoughtful and funny entries in there. My personal favorite:

"I invinted television."

It just captures Mr. Gore's southern charm.

 
At 6:12 pm, Anonymous penis_waffle@usa.biz ejaculated...

Apparently, my website is under construction. Fancy that, I didn't even know that it existed.

 
At 6:22 pm, Anonymous Ric Santorum ejaculated...

Look, here's Scott after he just stuck his finger up his lover's hind end. See, it's all covered by santorum.

 
At 7:03 pm, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

Yeah, it really is the most piss-soaked caption competition of all time - I almost regret that I'm not gonna be around for the grand unveiling. My vote would be the one about the "Poplar vote" (for FUCK'S SAKE) or the complete non-sequitur attack on Air America. It'll be the product of Alice Lemos' spittle-flecked keyboard that takes it though.

That picture of Scotty with the finger is hilarious. I wish I had seen that before I posted. Look at his face!

 
At 3:20 pm, Anonymous Persona non Blogga ejaculated...

Apparently, the heat of coming up with witty, sarcastic, and moronic comments everyday has caused our friend to step out of his proverbial kitchen.

I hope he enjoys adding nothing to the national conversation at his new/old site.

 
At 9:46 pm, Anonymous Father Luke ejaculated...

The picture is great.

I mean this one here.


Okay,
Father luke

 

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