Sunday, December 11, 2005

Newsround

Explosion in Hemel Hempstead provokes mass idiocy. "I thought it was a bomb gone off, or a plane crash or something" said one resident who has lived beside the enormous oil depot for fifteen fucking years.

Margaret Thatcher's short term memory fading. She cannot remember the beginning of a sentence once she has reached the end, reports pathetic jungle arsehole Carol Thatcher. Department of Hate spokesman, Snotty McShot, said, "Ah, Margaret Thatcher is a murderous aul fuck."

Comedian Richard Pryor in denial:


Eh, actually dude.

5 Mewling Pricks

At 11:03 pm, Anonymous Anonymous ejaculated...

She has now the memory of a goldfish. The remembrance of atrocities past will not haunt this miserable witch.

Too bad for the unsuspecting world upon which she and that other old fuck Reagan were inflicted. WE can't afford to forget what these two thugs did.

In the meanwhile, their two-dime-a-dozen offspring continue perpetuating the collective lie of their supposed greatness. Say hi to Ronnie for me when you fry in hell, bitch.

 
At 11:34 pm, Anonymous David Duff ejaculated...

"WE can't afford to forget what these two thugs did."


Quite right, 'anon', old chap, they saw off the Soviets and biffed the Argies. Oh, and she squidged that little toad with the ludicrous hair who marched the miners to the top of the hill, and marched them down again.

Splendid!

 
At 3:25 am, Anonymous Anonymous ejaculated...

Oh, here we go again, Reagan and Thatcher defeated Communism. I forgot that old song. So remind me again, Double D, how did these two morons defeat the Soviets? 'Cause I thought Communism self-imploded, and Gorbatchev gave it its final push. What's your version of that story?

Or maybe it was Ronnie's death squads in Central America that 'saw the Soviets off.' And Thatch waging a nuclear-armed finger at those Argentinians. Don't fuck with the Maggie, you Argie bastards!

 
At 9:36 am, Anonymous Anonymous ejaculated...

It's 'saw off' as in 'we saw off our friends at the railway station'. They didn't actually do anything, but they were there waving their arms about inanely and saying some cheap platitudes while someone else did the real work.

Of course, there are those who say it was dear old Pope John Paul II and the Solidarity movement who actually toppled Communism.

"Hmmmm... The left-footers and the 'trot-lot' trade unionists you say? Bzzt! Does not compute! Does not compute! That cannot possibly true. It was Thatcher. It was Thatcher. You will not resist the power of my superior right-wing groupthink! You will not commit thought crime! Worship Thatcher! Worship Thatcher! Exterminate Lefies! Exterminate Lefties!"

[Burly nurse enters stage right, fastens straps and administers sedative]

"Ah, I seem to have had one of my turns. I say, could someone kindly clear up all this spittle and urine? Little Memsahib? Little Memsahib? Where have you gone dear?"

 
At 11:41 am, Anonymous Yoyo ejaculated...

Ah, RIP, Richard Pryor...the man rocked...

 

Post a Comment

<< Back to Reception