Thursday, April 13, 2006

Profit & Loss


17 Mewling Pricks

At 1:02 pm, Anonymous David Duff ejaculated...

"After retiring from service, Butler became a popular speaker at meetings organized by veterans, communists, pacifists and church groups in the 1930s."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smedley_Butler

Oh, so a rigorously neutral observer then! Definitely not one to plough his own furrow. Well done, 'Snotty', cool, calm objectivity is still the byword on this site. Keep up the good work!

 
At 2:06 am, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

It never ceases to amaze me when these fucking knob-gobblers turn up at a website called "Department of Hate" and think that accusing me of insufficient objectivity amounts to a devastating put-down.

Having said that, if the Duffer would like to point out why Smedley Butler's 33 years of unprecedently decorated service in the marines isn't worth a mention in his inept little fucking smear, then I guess I could pretend to be interested for a couple of seconds.

 
At 8:39 pm, Anonymous David Duff ejaculated...

I worry for you, 'Snotty', you really must watch the old blood pressure.

I wasn't accusing *you* of lack of objectivity (I mean, would I?), no, I was simply pointing out that Butler, like everyone else, has a track record. I mean, I'm sure you wouldn't wish to give the misleading impression that your hero was typical of the US Marine Corps, that's all.

Anymore than you would wish to give the *unwary* ( or the short-sighted who might miss teh date in tiny font at the end) the completely false idea that this particular individual had anything to say concerning Iraq, about which he knew nothing having died several decades before!

Well done, 'Snotty', "Semper Fidelis" and all that!

 
At 9:48 pm, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

Apologies, 'David', I must have misunderstood your sarcasm - "cool, calm objectivity is still the byword on this site" - as somehow applying to the Department. Dunno how I got that impression.

Anyway: "I was simply pointing out that Butler, like everyone else, has a track record". In other words, you were making a completely redundant statement, then. Fucking excellent stuff, Abe, really. As I've already pointed out, Butler's "track record" also includes over three decades of highly decorated military service that you have apparently deigned to overlook. I woulda thought that made him at least somewhat qualified to talk about this sort of stuff, naw?

"I'm sure you wouldn't wish to give the misleading impression that your hero was typical of the US Marine Corps"

You're quite right there.

Also, the "tiny" font at the bottom is larger than that of the main bidy of the post itself. Lord knows these pages are frequently visited by a gaggle of egregious fucking half-wits, but I dare say you are the only cumguzzler to have thought that I was suggesting Butler was talking about the Iraq war.

As always, Dave, thanks for your inestimable contributions. Next time, how about maybe addressing what Butler actually said, rather than this tiresome fucking issue-dodging diversionary shite. "But he spoke at pacifist meetings!" For fuck's sake, Dave. Wipe the fucking drool off your chin, huh?

 
At 7:49 am, Anonymous David Duff ejaculated...

Perish the thought that our host "was suggesting Butler was talking about the Iraq war."

Oh, so those pictures were from the Western Front circa 1918, were they?

 
At 10:55 am, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

Oh good fucking christ.

Look, 'David', I know the world must be a very confusing place for someone like yourself, so I'll go easy on you. The pictures are - fairly obviously, I thought - from the Iraq war, okay? The text, however, is from Brigadier General Smedley Butler's 1935 anti-interventionist essay "War Is A Racket". Right?

Now, I know that's two thoughts that you have to hold in your head simultaneously, but I think you can handle it. It's a fairly common thing, to take a historical quote and apply it to contemporary events. It doesn't necessitate my hoodwinking people into thinking that the text is actually specifically referring to the photos. In fact, I think that mistake rather lessens the effect, and I hope that you are the only slope-browed colostomy bag dumb enough to do so. I take solace in the fact you probably are.

Now fuck away off and bore the tits off some other poor bastard, will ye?

 
At 12:20 pm, Anonymous David Duff ejaculated...

"[T]o take a historical quote and apply it to contemporary events. It doesn't necessitate my hoodwinking people into thinking that the text is actually specifically referring to the photos."

Good show, 'Snotty', as ever 'The Man We Can Trust'!

 
At 2:22 pm, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

This is fucking unbelievable.

What's your point, Dave? Spit it out. Why are you here?

Here's how it works: the words are from then, the pictures are from now. Only a fucking idiot would read this post and think that they were contemporaneous comments. I can't believe I have to fucking explain this to a man in his sixties. Do you mean to tell me that it's out of bounds to use apt historical quotes now? Or do I have to sign post them with a big flashing neon disclaimer for all the morons that might be reading? Well, fuck that shit.

There's two explanations here. One, you are just pissing about, being your irritating contrarian self. If that's the case you can cram it in yer fucking hole.

Two, you actually sincerely believe that my intention was to mislead readers into thinking that Smedley Butler, a very very dead veteran of the first world war, was somehow talking about the Iraq war in the 21st century. If that's the case, you are a darn sight stupider than I thought, and I thought you were pretty fucking foaming-at-the-mouth retarded already.

So which is it, Dave: are you just an irritating cunt or are you a balls-achingly stupid cunt?

(There's a third option: you have for some reason been left unsupervised for the weekend, and you genuinely have no idea what the hell you are talking about yourself. If that's the case you can still fuck off.)

 
At 5:59 pm, Anonymous David Duff ejaculated...

So, no chance of going on your favourite bloggers list, then?

Anyway, I expect you enjoyed a nice day watching the Fenians celebrate the mother and father of all complaints about the postal service.

 
At 7:06 pm, Anonymous Goat boy ejaculated...

For god's sake Duff, go outside and string someone up or something for a bit. All this computer use ain't healthy you know...

 
At 7:47 pm, Anonymous Anonymous ejaculated...

http://www.iamnotaracist.blogspot.com/

 
At 9:35 pm, Anonymous David Duff ejaculated...

'Anon' deserves an 'E' for Effort, although I'm not sure how pleased the Guardian would be to have its website copyright infringed.

The satire only half works because 'jokes' about Auschwitz and mass murder always always fall flat, particularly to me, who once had the misfortune of being taken to view Bergen-Belsen. Believe me, after that there are no words, let alone 'jokes'!

 
At 11:54 am, Anonymous Goat Boy ejaculated...

Thats odd David. Didn't you recently joke on your own site that the experience of going to Ikea made you want to murder your own wife...? What's your acceptable humour/slaughter rate cut-off point then?

 
At 12:09 pm, Anonymous David Duff ejaculated...

Somewhere between 2 and 6,000,000 I suppose.

 
At 12:28 pm, Anonymous Goat Boy ejaculated...

Great, thanks for clearing that up. If you're bored, I know a few Ian Huntley jokes you should safely find *hilarious* then...

 
At 8:39 pm, Anonymous David Duff ejaculated...

You're too modest, 'Goat Boy', I suspect you know lots and lots of Huntley jokes, to say nothing of those Myra Hindley side-splitters you enjoy telling down the pub. You are a wag, and no mistake!

 
At 12:17 pm, Anonymous Goat Boy ejaculated...

You can 'suspect' anything you like. Good luck with it. Have fun.

 

Post a Comment

<< Back to Reception