Thursday, February 16, 2006

Glorifying Terrorism: Lesson Two

Last time, we covered how to Glorify Terrorism with an indelible marker and a big piece of paper. Scary paper. Let's spice it up a notch.


We only have the Rebel's word for it that they're the good guys and the Empire are the bad guys. Even the least cynical can see that they might just have a vested interest in portraying themselves as heroic underdogs, fighting for freedom and apple pie. There are, however, enough publications for us to examine the evidence for ourselves. In order to maintain the necessary objectivity, the self-styled "Rebel Alliance" will be referred to as "the Terrorists".


It is common knowledge that Solo was up to his cute smile in debt to a particularly sadistic crimelord [1]. What is less well known is why. This information was revealed in a recent document [8]. He had in fact been smuggling a drug used as a particularly revolting truth drug manufactured in a particularly revolting manner. Let's get this straight. He was smuggling a cargo which he knew would be used for torture by a noted sadist, and was forced to dump it when challenged by Customs. This is one of the "heroes" of the terrorists. I believe the term "hero" is better used for the customs officers who, at the cost of their own lives, forced Solo to abandon the cargo so that it could do no further harm.

Later, after he had been completely corrupted by the terrorists, Skywalker attempted to recruit this same sadistic criminal (Jabba) [3].

Extra credit:

Surfing the internet, I came across an interesting article entitled "Eternal Jihad: The Way of the Mystic-Warrior" from a Sufi website:

"We are at the core a Movement of Jeddi; masters of Futuwwat ("the Way of the mystic-warrior"). We encourage adherents to train both physically AND spiritually, for their own personal edification and to enhance their knowledge and abilities in the STRUGGLE.


Notice the Arabic term "al-Jeddi" (master of the mystic-warrior way) along with another Islamic term not mentioned, "Palawan" (similar to Lucas' "Padwan" for Jedi apprentice) which were actual titles used by Muslim Knights!


They were proud desert warriors, poor but God-fearing -- occupied and exploited by heathen armies and foreign cartels for the fuel beneath their sand.  Too weak to attack their enemies' high-tech military head on, they resisted through surprise raids and bombings.  The imperialist oppressors called them savages -- even terrorists -- but they knew themselves to be freedom-fighters.  And that one day God would send a messiah to unite their tribes and lead them in jihad.

No, not Osama bin Laden.  Not any current Arab leader.  And not even Lawrence of Arabia.

I'm talking about Muad'Dib, the messiah in Frank Herbert's epic sci-fi novel, Dune (1965).  It is Maud'Dib who leads the Fremen tribes in jihad against a spice-hungry Empire.  Spice is the fuel of the Empire.  Without spice, interstellar travel -- and trade -- is impossible.  Without spice, the galactic economy will collapse.

"The spice must flow!" is the cry repeated throughout this tale.  Along with, "The one who controls the spice, controls the universe!"  And in all the galaxy, there is only one spice source -- the desert wasteland planet named Dune.

Maud'Dib defeats the Empire by taking the spice source hostage, and threatening to blow it up, which would plunge all civilization into a new dark age.  Talk about terrorism!  (Anyone recall Hussein's threat to blow up the Kuwaiti oil fields?)

Oh yes, Dune has all the parallels.  The hero even uses the J-word -- jihad.  Of course, critics have long recognized that Dune was inspired by Islam, and that Herbert modeled Maud'Dib on Mohammed.


5 Mewling Pricks

At 1:42 am, Blogger Binty McShae ejaculated...

Superb stuff, McSnot! I had always thought that about Dune, as the books are full of grey characters rather than being black and white, but never about Star Wars!

At 11:39 am, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

Yeah, Dune's a headfuck. I was watching the movie the other night - what the summary above doesn't mention is that the desert planet is called "Arrakis", and the glactic overlord dude is Emperor Shaddam.

Anyways, cheers Binty - don't forget to vote!

At 6:41 pm, Blogger Andraste ejaculated...

I KNEW if I came here today I'd learn something. Stellar stuff. (Get it? Stellar? Oh, I kill me.)

At 6:30 am, Blogger Binty McShae ejaculated...

Voted - and you are SOOOO in the lead!

At 8:31 am, Blogger Labbie ejaculated...

You dare mess with Star Wars? Blasphemy!!!


Post a Comment

<< Back to Reception