Monday, April 24, 2006

This Is Pete Doherty


Pete Doherty is poop.

He's a grating, flaking, chafing, stain of cum piss pushing his way through the arse side of the pants that shield society's dicks and assholes.

His music sounds like the grotesque caterwaul of a cauldron of boiling apes.

His hair looks like a regurgitated breakfast of day-old coffee grounds and rope.

His face simpers like ours might had primates evolved into Mongoloids who learned how to snarl and smoke cigarettes.


His sentences pillow fight each other for the crown of most puerile.

This modern troubadour, as he is billed, eats away a little piece of my crotch every time he vomits a lyric. I only hope he lives a long, fruitless life in Cell Block D getting raped through the holes in his arms by murderers and tax evaders, alike, because the moment the drugs liberate us from him, though we will have won the drug war, the victory will be Pyrrhic. We need no more rock martyrs, least of all this dickshit.

Fuck forever? Fuck you, Pete Doherty. You're a big steaming pile.

4 Mewling Pricks

At 9:53 pm, Anonymous David Duff ejaculated...

I say, 'Snotty' old chap, steady the Buffs! I mean to say, isn't he one of yours, Doherty, and all that? Perhaps you could take him back over the water and do us all a favour. Get him off the Gangea and onto the Guinness, that sort of thing. I mean if you Paddies can't stick together and look after each other who the hell else will?

 
At 8:09 am, Blogger 01-811-8055 ejaculated...

"Apart from that, he's great!"

 
At 1:19 pm, Blogger Larry Teabag ejaculated...

I don't think I've ever actually heard any of his music, only having ever seen him on the looking fucked on tabloid front-pages. I'm certainly prepared to believe that it's shit though.

David, our logic would imply that you are one of 'ours' and that I have some duty to 'look after' you.

 
At 1:52 pm, Anonymous Captain Handspank ejaculated...

To be honest, I think the guy is a bit of a harmless tool, with some extremely lame songs...the REALLY unpleasant thing is watching all the astonshingly hypocritical coke-snorting cunts in the media and marketing departments of his record company try and goad the poor sap into dying in order to sell more papers/Cds....which he will do, and they will do, very soon...

 

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