Wednesday, April 19, 2006

The Ugliest Blogger on the Internets

Extract from Minutes of Departmental Meeting
19 April 2006


Snotty: Below is a picture of "j0nz", the guy in charge of all the crazy random font sizes at spoof Muslim-baiting website Drunken Blogging. He effortlessly lampoons the current trend in hysterical "Clash of Civilizations" arse-piss with fiendishly economical satire such as this:

"There's a lot of Toonophobia going around in the world at the moment, Toonophobes coming out of the woodwork everywhere. We must combat Toonophobia with all our might." [Emphasis his]




Snotty: Devastating stuff, eh? In three lines he makes you realise the fucking balls-aching stupidity of the entire "terrifying Muslim threat" cock-knockery.
Hugs: Uh, okay sure, but ... but, holy fucking fuck. His face is so big he has two dimples on each cheek.
Snotty: Yeah! And that little mouth with the cheeky little pursed-lipped smile. He looks like someone's just slipped a finger up his arsehole and he realises he’s enjoying it.
Hugs: "Carlsberg don’t do literacy tests, but if they did..."
Snotty: And he misspelled Carlsberg.
Hugs: Yeah, that's what I meant. You know what though? I appreciate that little beard that delineates where his face stops and where the rest of the planet starts. It’s very considerate.
Snotty: Makes him look like a sumo wrestler at a Craig David fan club convention, though.
Hugs: Or the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in a Backstreet Boy costume.
Snotty: And who does he think he’s kidding, by the way, wearing that jumper? You wear a jumper with a design like that, you know people are gonna stare at your breasts. He’ll probably complain when somebody does, too. Bloody typical.
Hugs: I don’t know, man. Are you sure this guy is joking?
Snotty: Well, he’s fucking gotta be, right? Anybody that posts the lyrics of The Housemartins’ "Caravan of Love" under the heading "Most Poignant & Moving Song Ever?" is bound to be taking the fucking piss. Aren’t they? Huh?
Hugs: ...
Snotty: Ah shit.

6 Mewling Pricks

At 2:28 pm, Blogger jonz ejaculated...

I'm flattered. Any chance of a pic of yourself Snotty McShot?

I really don't know how I managed to mispell Carlsberg I really don't. Here's the corrected version

 
At 5:36 pm, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

"Any chance of a pic of yourself ... ?"

Ah, I think I see where you're headed here, but I'm sorry: my failure to post a picture of myself looking retarded on the internet doesn't change the fact that you've got a goofy set of chops on ye. You look like David Aaronovitch played by Stan Cartman, for fuck's sake.

I've heard them say that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Well, since you have no idea what my house is made of, I guess I can pitch pebbles at my leisure then.

 
At 12:09 am, Blogger Tu s. Tin ejaculated...

wow!!!!! this has got to be the ugliest BLOG I have ever seen.
How can you say things like that about someone?
Jonz is my friend and I happen to love him!!
Why would you even post something like this?... and then proudly add your petty little conversation? We don't need to see a picture now to know how truly ugly YOU are.

 
At 11:10 am, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

Hi Tu!

Welcome to the Department of Hate: Ugly On The Inside!

Please enjoy your visit!

 
At 10:59 pm, Anonymous Anonymous ejaculated...

Hye. Why did'nt anyone get pics of the people behind harry's place. It would have been fun to publish those little haters

 
At 7:31 pm, Anonymous Anonymous ejaculated...

'Caravan of love'just about sums this bigoted git up...'She's my sister','He's my brother'-rather suspect.As well as being a complete load of fucking syphilitic,e coli-infested pile of tramp's cack,this evil dirge must be an ode to the joys of incest.Possibly he is the way he is,as he wore his sister's clout out during his youth-or ,more possiobly,her rusty sheriff's badge!Someone tie him to a tree and shoot him with a blunderbuss loaded with his own Shite!
Ra Durty Skoatz Basturt

 

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