Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Disabled Barking

So I come out of Tesco the other day and am unlocking my bike when I overhear the following coming from a car parked in the disabled space right by the entrance.
"Don't you fucking lock that you bollocks. Fucking leave it alone for fuck's sake you prick. Fuck off and get it yourself!"
The speaker is a young woman leaning in the driver's side window, the recipient is a man in the passenger seat holding a 2 year old child. No-one is disabled in the classic sense.

A wave of doom washes over me, is this what happens when The Scumbag breeds?

14 Mewling Pricks

At 5:01 pm, Anonymous Anonymous ejaculated...

I work in Argos and recently had to break up a very loud verbal trash fight in the carpark between two customers who were fighting over a disabled space.... and neither of them were disabled.

At 10:27 am, Blogger geezer squeezer! ejaculated...

maybe the 2 year old was disabled? maybe they were only part time disableds and it was their day off?
oh well.either way....limeys?

At 4:21 pm, Anonymous Anonymous ejaculated...

I love puppies. Lollipops are so nice. By the way, did you know that Jesus loves you. I think I'll go give someone a nice hug today. It just snowed at my house and it is beautiful.

At 4:38 pm, Anonymous Anonymous ejaculated...

Isn't it nice when people forgive each other. What a blessing, when people say a kind word. I love the sun on the snow. It is like my lover's soft caress. Praise the Lord for all the little blessings in life.

At 4:40 pm, Anonymous Anonymous ejaculated...

You know what I love, a piece of mail I didn't expect. That's why I love ordering things over the internet. Because, sometimes, I forget that I ordered it, or that it is coming, or I forget that I've been waiting for so long. Then it comes, and I'm suprised.

At 4:48 pm, Blogger geezer squeezer! ejaculated...

yo snotty,fanx for the limey answer.
looks like you got some anon admirers.maybe theyre disabled and trying to punish you?

At 5:00 pm, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 5:05 pm, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

No problem, Geezer.

Don't worry about these anonymous posters. They are not disabled, merely stuffed to the eyeballs with anti-depressants.

At 5:17 pm, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

I love when people fall over. When they fall over in the beautiful snow and leave a grey stain where they lay. And when kids cry when they're eating food. I just slops about in their mouth and they have to stop crying and chew for a second, then resume their caterwauling. That's hilarious. And usually they let the remainder fall from their cute little hands. A lollipop or a sandwich.

You know what. Jesus hates me. His Dad too. Go ask the good christian folks at www.answersingenesis.com.

We all deserve to die. Have a look below. Those tsunami victims? Jesus had it right in for those cunts.

At 5:58 pm, Anonymous Anonymous ejaculated...

I'm sorry that you can't see the love of Christ for you, just like the more ignorant types at answersingenesis.com don't have enough time to look up historical Christian doctrine on Creation. The thing is, Snotty, no matter what kinds of ignorant things we say, or no matter what variety of things we place in our rectal cavities, Jesus still loves us and wants us to know him.

At 8:17 am, Blogger geezer squeezer! ejaculated...

wants us to know him??hasnt he got enough friends already?? maybe he should join a club or something.volleyball?gaelic dancing?J.C. would look ace doing the old riverdance!he'd have to lose the sandals though.and maybe a good wash and a fucking shave wouldnt go astray.
and youre saying that J.C. doesnt like us putting things in our rectal cavities? he must of tried it then!

At 10:26 am, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

Ah, the old conversion by appeal to mythical figure tactic. Tremendous work, Anon. See here.

"no matter what kinds of ignorant things we say, or no matter what variety of things we place in our rectal cavities, Jesus still loves us and wants us to know him"

This is great news. So I can say something like, "Jesus was a fat lazy hippy cuntsock who took it in the rectum daily from every single one of his disciples, pausing only to comb the bukkake from his deadbeat beard" and I'm still in JC's good books? When all's said and done, Anon, JC's still got love for both of us? I really think you got the fuzzy end of the lollipop there, fella, with your clean-living ways (I presume). Or possibly you just need to rethink your personal theological philosophy.

Anyway, whether or not Jesus loves me is moot for many reasons, not least because I still have to wake up everyday and step out into the heaving pestilent filth of humanity every single fucking day. When's Jesus gonna sort that shit out, huh?

So fuck your Jesus. And fuck you.

At 11:45 am, Anonymous Anonymous ejaculated...

People can't you understand
the child needs a helping hand
or he's gonna grow to be
an angry young man some day


At 5:30 pm, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

I hate Elvis.


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