Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Hatin' Through the Ages

...I have of late--but wherefore I know not--lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! In apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me: no, nor woman neither...

And you know what? I fucking hate Shakespeare.

I particularly hate modern takes on Shakespeare. Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet should be balled up, stuck in a cannon and shot up his arse. Kenneth Branagh should have all four hours of 65mm film from his epic Hamlet stapled to the insides of his eyelids. The screenplay for 1995's Richard III should be rolled tight and used to beat Ian McKellen to death. And that new Levi’s ad should be shoved down Mel Gibson’s pants and burned. Like I said, I'm no fan, but seeing, under writing credits:

"William Shakespeare and Sir Ian McKellan"

makes me fucking sick. Why? Because McKellen, Branagh, Luhrmann et al are fans. Fawning drooling masturbating fans. Cunts.

Still, Shakespeare really had it going there, if only for a second or two.

7 Mewling Pricks

At 4:23 pm, Anonymous Tim Baste ejaculated...

Aw, why'd you make me click that link?

"I think we underestimate young people today. Our research shows that they understand it immediately," said Kenny Wilson, brand president for Levi's Europe.I'll be angry for days now.

At 4:25 pm, Blogger lucretius ejaculated...

Shakespeare was nothing but a fawning, drooling, masturbating fan of Ovid, so my question is, when does Ovid get his own ad--or do these creepishly chipper Red Bull ads with vaguely mythological themes count? And why the hell do we have all these ads featuring Rugby and "Football" here in the god-blessed United States. I mean, seriously, who watches soccer but those drunkards on the East Enders. And why do the worst BBC shows end up on PBS on Saturday night?

At 4:34 pm, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

I've no idea what you're talking about there, dude. Can't help you.

At 4:36 pm, Blogger jonny-no-stars ejaculated...

It's nice to see the U.S. has adopted "cunt". If you want to adopt some more cunts, we have the Blairs, The House of Lords, bent policemen (oh, you have enough already?) and the Beckhams for starters. swaps and once they're gone you have to keep them.

At 5:24 pm, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

For anyone who's gay enough to be interested, here’s something from some dorks talking about Ovid. And a picture of a woman fucking a swan.

I like to educate.


At 10:39 am, Anonymous Jurgen Klinsmann ejaculated...

Hey Lind

Who watches soccer? Only the rest of the friggin' world. Oh yeah, while I'm at it, that Landon Donovan was pants last night for Bayer, he should shave the rest of that receding mop off and retire to Florida. Useless sack of crap.

At 11:39 am, Blogger Snotty McShot ejaculated...

Jesus fucked his mother, who started this sport talk?

Sport. Fucking hell.


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