Friday, March 11, 2005

Tube Rules pt 2

9. If I'm sitting on a seat and my arms are on the arm rests, do not, I repeat DO NOT try and wrestle me off the rests by slyly resting your arm next to mine in the vein hope that eventually you will push my elbows off the rests. Brother, it aint gonna happen, cos now I know your game and it IS a battle of wills. I will turn and look at you with a "what the fuck do you think you are doing" look on my face and then smirk at you with a "I can't believe you're actually gonna try it" smirk on my face.

DONT even try the old "push his elbows off from behind" trick, by snuggling your elbows at the back of the rest and let the g-force of the train accidentally push my elbows off, cos you know I will just rest them back on and now with extra vigour.

If you still try, I must warn you that I may have to accidentally kick your long gangly legs that are taking up the whole of the gang way when I walk off the train....(What do you expect me to do, jump over them?) have been warned.

10. "Simon says...get the fuck up". per Pharoahe Monch, circa 2000
Just cos you think you're pretty, bitch doesnt mean you cant get up if there's an elderly person on the fucking train! Get the fuck up for the people, at least way you can make up for being a bitch. Let's hope that when you're pregnant with some 3rd division footballer-wannabe's baby, someone as decent as you will have the courtesy to get the fuck up! Karma charmeleon!