Friday, August 11, 2006

No News Today

…the first allegation of a threat of a potential attack in Britain at some unspecified point in the future, and suddenly we are encouraged to luxuriate in the fantasy prospect of annihilation ... The Blitzkrieg is upon Beirut, but we are supposed to imagine that little Nazis are flying over our heads

Channel 4 news last night was basically 50 minutes of Krishnan Guru Murphy standing in front of Heathrow pulling shit out of his arse, repeating over and over the scant details that we think we know, and going live to the C4 reporter waiting anxiously outside Scotland Yard every now and then in the hope that he might have even half a story yet, and what struck me about the whole affair was what a disgustingly privileged bunch of cunts we really are. "Luxuriate", says lenin, above, and that's exactly what's going on. We are positively wallowing in this shit. Isn't it all so fucking exciting?

Of course I realise that all of this sound and fury bullshit is intended to frighten me and my quaking bowels into crap-panted acquiescence, but honestly? I've never felt so fucking safe in my life. An entire programme dedicated to something that DID NOT EVEN ACTUALLY OCCUR is a fucking luxury indeed, available only to those who don’t have to wake up every day and deal with the rubble and ruined bodies of their friends and relatives. The two or so minutes of air-time they managed to find for images of smouldering Lebanon – no thrilling potential threats and close-shaves there, just actual daily death and destruction - only served to underline that fact.

Even terrorism of the unhyped variety isn’t a threat to us if we’re already good as dead.